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Grab a cup of coffee (or spiked eggnog) and settle in.
I write stories and poetry that explore the merry, the
macabre, and the mildly inappropriate.

Dark holiday poems for those who prefer clever,
twisted cheer,

Meet Carol

Let’s Pretend We're
Having Coffee…

I’m Carol Jacobson, and I love the holidays — mostly because they’re wonderfully ridiculous. I write about the moments when the eggnog curdles, the Christmas tree catches fire, and family secrets spill out faster than the turkey’s gravy.


Dark humor, holiday horror, and unfiltered poetry that pokes fun at all that Hallmark sweetness you secretly side-eye. Pull up a chair, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and let’s chat about the beautifully twisted side of the season. Welcome to my world.

Carol Jacobson

Upcoming Events

Where You Can Find
Me (In the Wild)

21
Nov 2025

Book Signing & Reading

I’ll be reading from Clearly I Have Issues and Dancing on the Edge, signing books, and chatting about why burnt cookies and family meltdowns make the best poetry. Come say hi — or just quietly judge from the back row.

26
Nov 2025

Virtual Holiday Reading

Join me (and maybe some spiked cocoa) for a cozy, creepy night of live poetry, festive dysfunction, and interactive Q&A. Pajamas encouraged. Cameras optional. Cheer not required.

30
Nov 2025

Poetry, Presents & Peppermint Schnapps

A night of dark holiday poems, bad gift confessionals, and readings from unpublished work. There may be cookies. There will definitely be sarcasm. 

What Readers Are Saying

I didn’t know I needed a poetry collection about burning turkeys, emotional meltdowns under twinkling lights, and the general madness of the holidays — but Clearly I Have Issues gave me exactly that. Carol somehow captures the deep, messy humanity of the season with sharp wit, raw honesty, and just enough sarcasm to keep it real.

I didn’t know I needed a poetry collection about burning turkeys, emotional meltdowns under twinkling lights, and the general madness of the holidays — but Clearly I Have Issues gave me exactly that. Carol somehow captures the deep, messy humanity of the season with sharp wit, raw honesty, and just enough sarcasm to keep it real.

I didn’t know I needed a poetry collection about burning turkeys, emotional meltdowns under twinkling lights, and the general madness of the holidays — but Clearly I Have Issues gave me exactly that. Carol somehow captures the deep, messy humanity of the season with sharp wit, raw honesty, and just enough sarcasm to keep it real.

Jen CarveaJen Carvearecovering holiday enthusiastJen CarverJen Carverrecovering holiday enthusiastJen CarveJen Carverecovering holiday enthusiast

Want to Reach Out?

Got questions, event invites, or holiday drama to share? I’d
love to hear from you.


    It’s Beginning to Look a Lot
    Like Breakdown

    Address

    123 Mockingbird Lane Portland,
    OR 97201 USA

    Say Hello

    info@youremail.com

    (555) 123-4567

    © 2025 Carol Jacobson. All rights reserved.

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